Now it is time.

I have had the most tremendous opportunity in being a stay-at-home mom to my “littles”(ages 7 and 9) and my “big” (age 24) for the past nine years. For this, I am deeply grateful.

But now, it is time.

And the confidence struggle I have been experiencing in returning to work after these years is real.

Nine years ago I lost my job as a high school Latin teacher when the parochial school where I was teaching shuttered its doors. That was a devastating occurrence — for us teachers, and for my beloved students (including my daughter Lauren). But, maybe not so bad after all. I was then pregnant with Rhianna, and I was due that summer. This was my chance to remain home with my babes. There. Decision made easy. I was thrilled!

Eight months after Rhianna was born, I discovered that I was expecting James at Christmastime. Well, surely any thoughts of careers or skills,  resumes or interviews were far from my mind. I was immersed in all things baby, such as cloth diapering, scratch cooking, and loving on my little ones. Oh, don’t worry — Lauren was not neglected. Being home allowed me also to attend nearly all her basketball games in both high school AND college. How I miss watching her play!

And then things got different. My babies grew and started school. Lauren graduated from college. My marriage dissolved. And now, I find myself in a position where returning to work is not an option. It is a necessity. I do have my Etsy shops (here and here), and I have a Sunday paper route. But, I need a JOB! (aka an income!). I have known this for some time. But my confidence was betraying me, and where oh where did all my marketable skills go? I was overwhelmed with the process of crafting a resume and applying for jobs. I was consumed by the facts that I had been out of the technology loop for years, and that there was a whole new generation out there with more recent work experience than mine. {gulp}

Then this happened.

I met a mom (now friend) at Rhianna’s basketball practice. She was dressed as though she had maybe come from work, but it was 4:30. I wondered what she did for a living. So I asked. She is a paraprofessional at our school district. (my ears perk up — a job close by, great hours, days off when my kids are off) Is this a possibility for me? So I asked. Sure! I would probably start as a sub, and then be in line for a permanent position if one becomes available. I applied.

A few days later, another friend called to invite James to a birthday party. We chatted. I mentioned that I was struggling to find work, and that I had recently applied to the school. Oh, he says. Let me call a friend and let her know. She might be able to help. She helped, and I was called in to sub as a teacher’s aide shortly thereafter. This was just exactly what I needed to get my toes wet again.

This week I had my second interview at the school for a position as a full-time aide. I am confident (did I say confident?) that my interviews went well, and I will find out if I got the job tomorrow evening. Even if I don’t get it, I will still be on their sub list when school starts.

It is all about baby steps. And it is even more about God having a plan for my life. Whatever happens is supposed to happen. <3